Even main characters sometimes die... I'd better be careful, believe it.
[Note: On the back cover of JUMP is a Shippuden the movie Ad with the promotional line: "Naruto is dead"]
[Konpeito, the old dango shop is losing customers to a new store.]
[Sweets is the owner of the new sweets shop, Andromeda. He sells all kinds of sweets from every planet across the galaxy.]
Your shop still looks pretty shabby, gramps.
[KONPEITO]
Your face still looks pretty shabby, Mister.
Japanese sweets shops nowadays have cakes and sundaes and whatnot.
Your shop has only dango, you know... It's delicious, but still...
I'm a dango man. That's all I know.
[Lake Toya]
You're still carrying that thing around your waist?
Samurai these days...
It's like a pacifier.
I just don't feel right without something hanging on my waist.
This is a tough time for people sticking with analog.
The mainstream world is all digital now. Digital.
And TV will go terrestrial digital broadcasting in a few years.
You won't be able to watch anything on your old TV.
Eh? Really?
Be aware! To watch shows with terrestrial digital broadcasting on your current TV...
...you'll need a special turner.
I didn't know that.
I thought
terrestrial digital broadcasting would be the same as watching color broadcasting on a black-and-white TV.
All told, it's not easy for analog people.
That's so true.
What's that?
That's the new sweets shop, called "Andromeda."
Supposedly you can taste sweets from every planet there,
so it's quickly become very popular.
Took away what few customers I had.
I think you should have a poster girl.
I do have a poster girl.
That's not a poster girl.
That's a positively ugly girl.
Don't judge women by their looks, Mister.
Look how wide her hips are. She'll bear healthy kids.
By monogenetic reproduction?
[Note: Monogenetic reproduction = asexual reproduction. Meaning she's so ugly she looks asexual.]
No, no. The basics of evolution is sexual reproduction.
You need to mix two sets of genes.
We don't mix! It says to never mix them for safety reasons.
[Note: Parody of the warning label on cleaning detergents. Mixing detergents can create a poisonous gas.]
You should read the instructions carefully!
Gin-san.
Here you go. They're on me.
Gramps, I need to go home.
Wait!
My future son-in-law and heir.
Well, really now...
["Dango Over Flowers"]
[ANDROMEDA]
Welcome to Andromeda.
[MENU] [Note: This spelling of Menu uses the Japanese characters for female + milk meaning breasts]
Here's the menu.
Thank you.
Wow!
I'll take the Sundae Special. Big magnum size, please.
I'll order Pudding Astro Galaxy à la mode and Winner Max coffee.
Hey, were you following me, old man?!
It's spying. You have to know your enemy, right?
Oh. That's an excellent reason.
I didn't know you had such sneaky business tactics.
Ah, I saw her undies.
This is your treat, Gin-san.
You're sponging off me rather than spying.
Ah, I saw her undies.
You can eat dango alone, but you can't eat sweets alone.
So it's a reasonable price if you think of it as a complementary fee.
Ah, I saw her undies.
Forget complementary.
Eating sweets with you is no complement.
Sweets aren't for old men.
That's why they call it "sweets" and not "senile." That'd be false advertising.
Ah, I saw her undies.
Enjoy!
By the way... Compared to the couples that go to Korean BBQs together,
couples that come to places like this seem more affectionate.
Ah, I saw her undies.
I think it's because the couples at a Korean BBQ have that "we've done it already" look,
[Note: In Japan it is said that couples who dine at a BBQ have already slept together because they are comfortable enough around each other to eat a messy meal.]
so we can watch them without getting excited.
But the couples here have that "in-the-future" look.
Ah, I saw her undies.
That is, "Men eat mitarashi-dango quietly." Ken-san said so.
[Note: Spoof of TV Ad catch phrase. "Men drink Sapporo Beer Quietly." Mitarashi-dango is dumplings with soy sauce paste. Ken Takakura is a Japanese actor.]
No, he didn't. Ken-san doesn't eat dango.
Ah, I saw her undies.
For an old man like me, that kind of animal fat is too much.
Ah? You mean whipped cream?
Speaking of sweetness, our generation grew up on bee honey and sweet potatoes.
Well, I think it's all right that each family has its own rules.
Sweets and dango are as different as the north and south poles, anyway.
I wish it were that simple.
Welcome!
Oh, there's a customer! Good for you.
Well...
What would you like to order?
Dango...
That's all you have, right?
He's Sweets from Andromeda... The owner of the shop.
Oh, my...
...Hello, you must be the owner of Andromeda.
Thank you for coming to our shabby shop during your busy day.
Sometimes I like to eat at simple shops like this. How's business?
As you can see, very poor. Please send me some of your customers.
That's why I told you that you should sell this store to me and retire.
Sell the store?
Well...
Dango is already out of fashion.
There's no way a simple store like this can attract customers.
There're already too many crude and flavorless sweets on this planet.
So, it is my dream to turn this area into a sweets shops district, led by my Andromeda.
Then, to get things rolling, I'll expand throughout the nation.
The recipes will be digitized so that every shop can have the same tasty sweets.
I'll spread true sweetness throughout the country.
Well, even though my dango shop looks shabby, it has been in my family for 400 years.
I know I'm a completely analog person, but we've kept the same taste.
It can't come to an end so easily in my generation.
And we still have some customers who like the dango at our shop.
Is that the taste of old tradition?
It sounds like you're a really archaic analog person.
But as for which taste will remain, don't you think the customer should decide?
Well, how about competing against me?
If you're just running your dango shop by mere force of habit,
it's obvious you'll eventually go out of business.
But if you beat me, your shop's reputation will grow and you'll probably bring customers back.
Well...
I'll set up a dango competition.
["Andromeda"]
["Konpeito"]
We'll compete for how much we can sell in one hour.
Of course, if I win, I'll take over this shop.
Your great "400-year-old" recipe can't lose, right?
Well...
Well, I'm not going to push you.
Excuse me, here's your dango.
I don't want any of that small-town stuff.
...Dad...
Maybe it's about time to call it quits.
Does that mean...
...free, all-you-can-eat dango?
[TV CHAMPION DANGO KING COMPETITION] [Note: This is a spoof of the show TV CHAMPION, where they try to find the "King" of whatever the episode is about.]
Please come and see! And taste!
This time, we have man versus man, craftsman against craftsman,
sweets against sweets competition!
It's the "TV Champion Dango King Competition." The participants are...
The old established dango shop that has kept its traditional recipe in the family for 400 years...
Konpeito!
And coming from another galaxy to spread its unknown sweets...
Andromeda!
Since we're short on ideas and time, let's begin the final match!
Everyone, please line up in front of your favorite dango.
And eat as much as you like.
But there's only one hour!
The shop that clears out all its dango first will win...
What?!
There's already a long line in front of Andromeda, even before the start of the competition!
That means it's the most popular sweets shop in Edo.
And how about Konpeito?
There're no costumers yet.
Dad...
You're not very nice, Sweets-sama. This looks like a fixed race.
I just offered him a competition and he accepted.
It's true. We don't have anything shady going on here, right?
When this competition is over, that property will be mine.
And our shop's reputation will be boosted by word of mouth from customers
who've come here to taste our new Japanese sweets.
This is to our advantage.
It looks like the winner will be decided before the competition even begins!
Yes, for example, it's like the chain death match between Tomoko Matsushima and the lion!
[Note: Tomoko Matsushima is an actress who was attacked by a lion in Kenya while visiting for a documentary.]
Ah, what's that?!
Oh! Three people... Only three people...
...are walking towards Konpeito.
Only three people.
What traditional taste.
Mister...
Is all this really free?
Yes. And this is probably the last chance to eat my dango.
Please have help yourselves.
Let the TV Champion Dango King Competition, the final round,
one-hour dango sell-out match! Begin!
Let the TV Champion Dango King Competition, the final round
one-hour dango sell-out match! Begin!
The Andromeda booth has been flooded with customers!
Plates are being emptied, one after another!
These people are like ants!
[Note: Famous phrase by Musuka from "Castle in the Sky". Host's eyes on the mask also look like Musuka's.]
And this man is the commentator and judge, Musashi-san.
He's known as the most famous gourmet in Kabukicho.
You'd better eat while you can.
Thanks for coming to our show.
By the way, today's match seems like a clash between the old and the new way.
How do you see it?
You'd better eat while you can.
Hmm... I see.
It looks like Andromeda has already cleared 100 plates.
Hurry, refill more dango plates.
On the other hand, Konpeito...!
They're so fast!
Although there's only three of them, they're competing against Andromeda.
You guys, eat as much as you can so you won't need to eat for three days!
Mister...
It's the hunger!
They're not here for tasty sweets!
They just came to fill their stomachs!
You'd better eat while you can.
The emptied plates are piling up at a furious pace.
Is this a symbol of something greater, perhaps the Tower of Babel in Edo?!
How about Andromeda?
This is...!
It's at the mercy of its flood of customers, so they're having a hard time selling dango.
It's like that saying: "Happy events tend to be accompanied by problems."
It's out of control!
There are more customers than we expected.
Now it's getting hard to predict a winner! It's really hard to believe,
but only three people are running a death match against those crowds! Konpeito!
Thanks... You're supporting my shop by doing this...
Well... It doesn't look like we'll get any dango soon.
Dad, I'm hungry.
I want dango.
Well, is it all right if we have that shop's dango?
No way. I want the kind from Andromeda!
Stop being selfish!
We should consider ourselves lucky to even have dango. Be patient.
All right.
Let's go!
Yeah.
Oh! It's a big family.
A big family has approached Konpeito! Will they spur on Konpeito?
They're 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9, plus their father.
Who said you could join the...
Sakata family dining table?
Whoa!
Hey, what are you doing, Mister?
Oh! What's going on?!
He knocked out the first customer to come to the booth!
This is my dining table. I won't let anyone near it.
What?!
A Dinner Table Declaration!
It's Our Dinner Table Declaration.
It doesn't look like he's thinking about the competition.
You'd better eat while you can.
I see... That's a very deep thing to say.
Take this for now.
How devilish! How self-centered! But wait.
Ah! What is that?!
Originally, there were only four dango on a stick, but now they're five!
Th-This is...
It's...one stick of dango.
[Note: Spoof of the moving story, "One Bowl of Hot Soba".]
Dad. That's good.
Now we'll still be alive tomorrow.
It's so moving! How impressive!
You'd better eat while you can.
Grow up well.
[Note: Phrase from a hamburger TV spot.]
Mister! This is not the time to say something like that!
This is a competition! Stop messing around...just hurry and eat more dango!
Gin-chan, this goes with rice, too!
What are you doing?!
Why are you eating dango with rice? It'll make you full sooner!
No, the main dish is clearly dango.
The rice is a side dish, you know.
I don't care. I really don't, from the bottom of my heart!
Stop eating it with rice!
There!
I'm not satisfied if I have a meal without rice!
I don't give a damn about Western eating!
Whatever, I'm telling you this competition isn't for your stomach!
Objection.
Isn't it against the rules to bring other foods to a dango competition?
Now Andromeda has made a public protest against a customer at Konpeito.
Musashi-san, as the judge, what do you think about eating dango with white rice?
You'd better eat while you can.
Does that mean it isn't against the rules?
Ya!
Their objection was dismissed!
Whether you eat dango with white rice as a set,
boost your appetite with sugar water, compress it to fit more in your stomach,
have it with mayonnaise, Tabasco or any other seasonings...it's all permitted.
More rice.
Gin-chan, I'm innovating.
If you put dango on top of rice, it's dango-don.
If you pour dango on top of rice, it's dango-rice.
Kagura-chan, I told you not to eat two carbohydrates at the same time.
What are you doing? Takeout?
If I put them in the freezer,
and then warm them up in the microwave later, I can eat them whenever I'm hungry!
Eat them now! It means nothing if you eat them later.
And what a shabby idea!
Objection! Takeout is against the ethics of competition.
Again, Andromeda is raising an objection.
Musashi-san, what do you think? Is takeout against the rules?
You'd better eat while you can.
Does that mean it's against the rules?
Ya.
Their objection has been sustained.
Takeout is against the rules. Tupperware is prohibited.
Tsk!
Don't "tsk" me!
Now we've passed 30 minutes! There are 30 minutes remaining.
Both teams are struggling to figure out how many plates they should prepare.
Who could have predicted such a close match?
Whichever side brings things under control first will have the advantage.
Sweets-sama!
Don't worry. I have a backup plan.
Hey! Move, move.
Ah, that is...
They're sumo wrestlers! Sumo wrestlers!
All of a sudden, a group of sumo wrestlers appeared
and pushed everyone else away, taking over the table.
They're eating at an amazing speed.
The dango look like malt balls. They're monsters. Real monsters!
Andromeda, 500 plates! Konpeito, 450 plates!
In very little time, the difference has been cut to 50 plates.
What do you think, Musashi-san?
Well... You'd better eat while you can.
So true.
Mister!
Don't worry.
We just finished our snack..
You're full already? This is bad. Really bad.
No...
Now, it's time to get to work.
Come on, appetizer time is over.
Shinpachi!
Yes!
Whoaaa! What's this?!
One person is taking the dango off the skewers to make it easier to eat.
And one person is throwing them into the girl's mouth with perfect control, without breaking a single one.
Combination! The key to something like that is having the perfect combination.
Hey! That's not eating! That's feeding!
An objection has been raised!
You'd better eat while you can.
It means there's no problem.
So fast! It's unbelievably fast!
The sumo wrestlers aren't to be outdone. It's even. It's even!
Both teams are holding their own and not budging one inch.
They're engaged in a fierce battle.
But the fiercest thing is the stomach of that China girl.
Is it bottomless?
She's staying even against five sumo wrestlers. Her stomach may even be bigger...
She's eating rice! She's eating rice between the dango!
Are you crazy? I said no more rice.
I don't give a damn about Western food!
My eyes! My eyes!
Kagura!
Oh no! She's got dango sauce in her eyes. It must hurt.
It doesn't look like she'll be able to get up for a while!
This could be a great chance for Andromeda!
They really made us worry. But this is a nice surprise for the competition.
Now we just have to hope they widen the gap...then...
Oh! But these guys seem to be nearing their limit.
We'll most likely grab a win.
Right.
I wonder if that'll happen.
What?
Shinpachi.
Take Kagura away now.
[Mind Your Sugar Levels]
Leave the rest to the Sugar King.
Gin-san, that doesn't sound very realistic with your stomach like that.
And your doctor told you to stop eating sweets, right?
If you eat more...
It's not good for young people nowadays to give up so easily.
Right, old man?
Ah, that's true.
Oh, he just keeps going. He keeps on going!
After eating that much dango, his stomach must be at its limit.
So why is he still eating? He loves sweets that much?
Sorry, but we're...
...analog people. We are stubborn and don't know when to give up.
Both teams are beyond their limit.
They're shoving dango down their throats by sheer force of will!
One minute left! The number of plates is even.
You'd better eat while you can.
Oh! Now both teams have stopped eating.
What made them stop at the end?
What happened?! Why have you stopped eating?!
If you eat one more dango, we'll win.
I feel like throwing up just looking at dango. Gochandesu.
[Note: Gochandesu is a word Sumo wrestlers use a lot.]
What?!
They're getting tired of it.
It's normal for a person whose eaten hundreds of the same kind of dango to get sick of it.
Getting tired of it? Are you kidding?!
I've tasted all kinds of sweets and used the experience to create even more kinds of sweets.
And you say they're sick of my dango?!
Sweets-sama, please calm down.
This can't be happening.
It can't be happening. Not with my dango!
My dango is so much better than your shabby small-town dango!
And your people stopped eating, too!
You've created a thousand kinds of tastes for the world.
But all I know is dango.
So I have to create a thousand worlds with dango.
Mister...
Have you come to my shop a thousand times? Have you ever gotten tired of it?
Don't say such a stupid thing. I'm not tired of it.
I'm not tired of it at all, but my stomach is so full, there's no more space left.
Then put it in your ball sack!
Time's up!
Gin-san!
Some things you learn by trying many things,
and some things you learn by stubbornly doing only one thing over and over.
Right?
Mister...
Yeah... It's a tough time for analog people.
Hello, everybody!
Thanks for entering the "My Amanto Idea" contest.
The winning idea is Noriko Mach.
Congratulations to Saito-san from Tokyo.
The next episode... "For The Wind Is The Life."
[Noriko Mach, a bike messenger from Planet Highspeed. She's a member of a race called Wind Spirits.]
[And the other half of the show is about Sachan. "The Ideal Girlfriend is Always Minami."]